Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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