You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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