in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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