Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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