How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
