What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
