We got so high we made milksteak
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
