I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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