Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
