used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
