is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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