i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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