with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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