I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
