i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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