I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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