Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
