yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
