And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
