Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
