its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
being pregnant is like rehab
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
