In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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