I wanna bring you to show and tell
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
