I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
