She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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