Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
