Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize