This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
