Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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