I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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