you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize