Im at strip club and am horny
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
