hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
