I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
