I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
