My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize