I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
