I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
