u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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