i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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