cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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