i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize