Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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