She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
