I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I love black thongs
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
