I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
