I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
