woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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