apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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