it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
