Me too!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
