You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
