my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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