two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
