somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
