New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
