just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
