Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
