So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize