I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
