Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
