singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
