Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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