that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
