3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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