508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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