So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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